What She Was Thinking
by Sailor-Neptune-16
Summary: What Michiru was thinking as she and Haruka battled and killed Hotaru and Setsuna. May not be what you expect.


"Do we have to?" I whispered softly.  
  
My partner, my best friend, my lover, whispered back, "Of course we have to! If we do then we can get the bracelets and destroy her. We must sacrifice everything."  
  
We will sacrifice everything, I thought. I looked over at Sailor Pluto and Sailor Saturn as they fought Galaxia. They were my friends, my good, true friends. Sailor Saturn; Hotaru, looked up to me as a mother. I couldn't kill her, I just couldn't! I shook my head and said, "I cannot."  
  
Sailor Uranus, Haruka, looked at me, her eyes wide with surprise. I had always loved that expression, but now I wished it wasn't there. I wish she felt the way that I did. I wanted to defeat Galaxia, it was my mission and I always sacrificed everything for the mission. But not Hotaru, I couldn't kill her anymore then I could kill Haruka herself.  
  
"I cannot kill Hotaru," I whispered as I watched her fight with Galaxia. I felt a burst of pride for her, she did feel like a daughter to me. "She is as a daughter, she considers me as a mother. And she considers you as a father, Haruka! Can you kill her so easily?"  
  
Galaxia was not paying attention to us; she was far too busy with Saturn and Pluto. She had offered us a way out of death, by killing our friends. But I could not. Images of Hotaru as a baby flashed to me, after she had given her own life to defeat an enemy that we could not have. Images of her laughing and playing with Chibi-Usa flashed through my mind.  
  
Me teaching Hotaru how to paint and her laughing as she splattered the paint all over me came to mind. We had a paint war and Haruka found us both dripping with paint. She had not been able to stop laughing and finally Setsuna had come in and demanded to know what was going on. I had pelted her with blue paint while Hotaru attacked Haruka with green. That day had ended with us all covered in many shades of paint.  
  
That was one of my favorite memories of us Outer Senshi. The Inner Senshi thought we were cold and uncaring, but we weren't. Not when we were together at least. And we had all begun to grow feelings for the Inners. We had begun to develop friendships with them, and then Galaxia come.  
  
I looked over at my partner and said, " I cannot and will not kill Hotaru, and no force in this galaxy can make me do that, not even you."  
  
Haruka looked at me and her eyes narrowed. I now saw Sailor Uranus, not Haruka, but the fighter. Then her gaze softened and she said, "I understand Michiru. I will have difficulty doing this. But I will take Hotaru, you take Setsuna." She then turned and went at Sailor Saturn.  
  
My fists clenched as I watched her battle with Saturn. Her purple eyes were wide with surprise, distrust and fear. As Sailor Uranus killed her she cried out, "Michiru, mother, help me!" Then she was gone and I felt a tear inside my chest. I barred my tears as I turned to Sailor Pluto, who was watching me with an expectant look.  
  
"You knew," I accused her.  
  
She nodded and said, "I did. I know all, you know that. Now come Michiru, come Sailor Neptune and take my life as Sailor Uranus took the life of Sailor Saturn."  
  
Tears fell from my eyes and I clenched them shut. "NO!" I cried out as I charged her. I dealt her the killing blow and looked straight into her eyes as she died. I saw there understanding and acceptance. "I'm sorry Setsuna," I whispered as she died.  
  
"I know that Michiru," she whispered in a faint voice. "See you in the afterlife." Then she died and was gone, as was Hotaru.  
  
Tears streamed openly down my face and my heart was breaking. Two of my closest friends, ones who were closer then my family, were dead. One by my own hands and the other by the hands of my love.  
  
I turned and saw Sailor Uranus standing beside Galaxia. Galaxia called, "Come Sailor Neptune. Take your deserved place beside me. You destroyed Pluto, you have earned your right."  
  
The hate burning in my heart did not show in my eyes. I wanted revenge more then anything. I wanted to die as they had, fighting. I wanted to die fighting Galaxia. I saw anger burning beneath Haruka's calm surface and knew that she was probably burning inside as I was.  
  
When the time came to take the bracelets I did so willingly and all my anger at Galaxia burst out as the beams did. When they did not affect her I was shocked. Why hadn't Setsuna told us? Then I remembered her saying, "See you in the afterlife."  
  
"We're going to die," I told Haruka as we threw the bracelets away and faced Galaxia.  
  
"I know," she admitted. "But we will die fighting. I hope Hotaru and Setsuna forgive us." Then we charged in and battled as hard as we could.  
  
Haruka had a blast coming at her and I decided I couldn't bear to see another comrade die. So I threw myself in front of her and took the hit myself. I was dying and she said, "See you in a bit Michiru."  
  
"See you in a bit Haruka," I replied.  
  
Then I was floating. I saw Hotaru/Sailor Saturn waiting for me, a wide smile on her face. Setsuna/Sailor Pluto was there as well, a wise look in her eyes. I also saw Mina /Sailor Venus, Rei/Sailor Mars, Ami/Sailor Mercury and Lita/Sailor Jupiter. All of them smiled and bid me to come.  
  
A moment later I turned and saw Haruka/Sailor Uranus coming up behind me. We embraced and then hugged each of the others in turn. "We forgive you," Hotaru and Setsuna said together.  
  
"Why are you still here?" I demanded of the Inner Senshi. "Shouldn't you be living again? You deserve life, as do Hotaru and Setsuna. But we do not." I hung my head in shame and Haruka allowed me to lay my head on her shoulder and cry. "We took Setsuna and Hotaru's lives from them and failed anyways."  
  
Ami came over and placed her hand on my shoulder, smiling gently. "We may return and we may stay. There is no point in holding grudges after death now is there?"  
  
I looked up at Ami and saw that the others were all smiling at me as well. I straightened and said, "You all will return. I know that you will, you must. Mostly you Hotaru, you are young and have a full life ahead of you. I fear that Haruka and I will remain forever though."  
  
Hotaru said, "I will not leave without you mom."  
  
Setsuna said, "You will not have to Hotaru. We all will return, after about three days."  
  
"And how long is three days here?" Lita asked. "We have been here for a week, in their time, but it seemed as like to seven years!"  
  
"Three years here," Setsuna replied. "We have plenty of time to talk, and to forget what has previously happened between us."  
  
"So what are we waiting for?" Haruka demanded. "Let's get started."  
  
We all sat down in a circle, me sitting with my head on Haruka's shoulder with Hotaru off to my other side, holding my hand tightly. We talked and talked and talked. Then we played trained, argued sometimes and even got along well.  
  
When we got called back we found Serena/Sailor Moon and Reny/Sailor Chibi- Moon waiting for us.  
  
I went back to living with Haruka, Setsuna and Hotaru and eventually we bought a house and all of the Sailor Scouts lived in the same house, along with Tuxedo Mask. Never again did I put the mission in front of my friends, unless they directly told me too. And my life went well.  
  
((Well there's my first Sailor Moon fic! Hope you all like it and respond with complaints or complements as you see is fit! Thanks for both!)) 


End file.
